Stephanie's Quiet Dinner
by mybrowneyes
Summary: A Rangeman Writer's challenge response--Stephanie figures out a way to have a pleasant dinner with her family.


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Stephanies Quiet Dinner

Ellen/Helen Challenge

Stephanie sat in her CRV watching the **rain**hit the windshield pondering the question, 'Did she want to sit through another family dinner listening to her mother rant on about her life? Now what, Stephanie? Joe Morelli was the last man in 'The Burg' who would marry you!" She turned up the Metallica to give her that extra boost.

She knew all of Ellen Plum's lines and didn't want to hear them again, but she did want to see her father and Grandma Mazur. Maybe the earplugs, which said Industrial Strength, next to the _**toothbrush**_ she bought would be worth the $1.99 she paid for them at the drug store. And there was pineapple upside down cake at the end of the rainbow waiting for her. Not **chocolate,** but her all-time favorite on this planet.

Ellen wouldn't miss the chance to bring up the latest and in Stephanie's mind permanent break-up between her and Joe. She was in the grocery store parking lot having just bought laundry detergent and some Ben & Jerrys.

"Hey, Cupcake, the boys are sure missing you," Joe said with his usual grin.

Where has Morelli been these last few weeks? No calls. No, "Hey, I missed you." But, she spotted him looking pretty cozy with Theresa Sandusky, who worked at the meat packing plant, over coffee at Starbucks when she was checking on one of her skips.

Before Stephanie realized it, that blue plastic bottle connected with his jaw and nose sending Joe flying. Standing over his stunned and bleeding form, the 100 ounce bottle just dropped landing right on the boys.

"Auughhhh!" Joe screamed in pain and curled up on the sidewalk.

"Tell the boys that's what I thought about missing them and they should call Theresa," Stephanie grabbed her laundry detergent and was going home to enjoy their new flavor '_**Chocolate** _Ball Buster Crunch' with Whopper pieces  
and savor every last bite of it.

Stephanie chuckled just thinking about it and wished Ranger could have seen it, but he was in the wind saving someone or someplace. He would have been proud.

Turning the key in the ignition, Stephanie drove around the block and parked in from of her parent's house. She hoped this worked.

Grandma was at the door, "Hey, Baby Granddaughter. I was hoping you were coming. I got me a new hottie, Peter Pickleman. I can't wait to peck his pickle," wiggling her eyebrows at Stephanie.

"Really?" kissing her and her Dad as he passed heading to the dining room. Her Mom must be in the kitchen.

"Hi, Pumpkin. Everything going OK?"

"Sure, Daddy."

The lasagna, garlic bread, and bowl of meatballs all on the table just waiting for the mouths to consume it. She kissed her mother before taking her seat.

"Stephanie, Ive been getting," was all she heard of her mother's voice pushing the sponge plugs into her ears under her hair. Her father passed the food her way, then to Grandma. She glanced at her mother and nodded recognizing the movements of her mouth saying 'Joseph'. She nodded again and dug into her food all the while thinking **_"What would Christina Bertuli think if she heard my mother talking to me like this?"_** She was the next to perfect daughter who lived down the street. Valerie being the perfect model. Stephanie giggled, she didnt give a rat's ass because she couldn't hear her mother.

If Grandma or her Dad said something from watching around the table, Stephanie slid one out so she could hear and answer back. Just hearing a syllable of Ellen's voice, it went right back in her ear. She ate in bliss.

Noticing her mother finishing whatever was in her glass and disappear into the kitchen, Stephanie knew dessert was coming and loosened the plugs.

Laying a large chunk of cake in front of her daughter, "Stephanie, were you even listening to me?"

"Actually, no, Mom," taking the ear plugs out and setting them in front of her plate. She heard her father chuckle.

Movement in the doorway caught her eye; a very tired looking Ranger was standing there. "Babe," holding out his hand to her.

"Go, Pumpkin," Frank encouraged.

Stephanie nodded and rose, "Mom, when you have something pleasant to say to me then I'll listen, but until then I don't give an _**Alien's**_ ass or even care if **_grass_ **is growing out his dick to listen to you anymore. Here, Daddy, you may need these," pulling the remaining packet of ear plugs out of her pocket. "They work wonders."

Frank took them, "Thanks, Pumpkin."

Ellen stood up, "You can't talk to me like that, I'm your mother!"

Stephanie walked over to Ranger with her pineapple upside down cake in her hand; she considered taking it with her. But after thinking about it, laid the untouched dessert down beside her mother. "I came here just for my favorite cake, but the more I think about it, Ella's sinful _**chocolate** _cake and maybe even her pineapple upside cake are better, so why put myself through this. Come on, Ranger, to the bat cave."

Ellen dropped down in her chair, stunned; her cooking ego deflated reaching for another glass of whatever she had.

"Babe, you're my **_Wonder Woman_,"** pulling her into his arms kissing Stephanie so all thoughts of dessert evaporated from her brain.

"That's hot. I hope the Pickle man can do me like that," Grandma was waving her hands, "Go."

"Next time Ella makes those delicious crab cakes," Frank said as he ushered Stephanie and Ranger out, "can you call me?"

Shaking hands, the man in black told him, "Sure, Sir."

"Me, too!" Grandma called.

They heard a 'THUD'. "Don't worry, my daughter will get over it. Get up, Ellen, what would Mrs. Bertuli think if she saw you passed out on the dining room floor?"


End file.
